The Woad Piker

"We are all the game pieces of little bald children who do not speak. Who needs a fickle gods when I know my every move has been plotted by a pre-schooler. I make it a point to slip them candy whenever their voice isn't watching."

"Gotta have sunglasses on a mission. What's the point of this hidden war if you don't get to flaunt how mysterious and unknown you are?"

=• The Buzzing •= Our wisdom flows so sweet. Taste and see.

TRANSMIT - initiate Eastern Time Zone USA signal - RECEIVE - initiate funky cold madina frequency - BURN AFTER READING: THE FLAME OF KNOWLEDGE COMES COUPLED WITH REGRET OF PAST IGNORANCE - initiate the warrior fool protocol - WITNESS - Michael Hannikowski.

Smell it sweetling, it is spring, its scent marked with the foul odor of flora fed on smog-laced air, and the sounds of gas fueled lawn equipment only compounding the problem. Everyone in the suburb smiles in spite of this, drinking cold sugar water by the liter.

Our subject is among these self-deluded sheep.

A life of cartoons, comic books, academics, and karate lessons leads a man down a very predictable path of isolation and escapism. We give him our honey, sweeter than any caffeinated confectionery drink, and raise him above this life of wasted potential.

Initiate Radioactive Bee Sting - With Great Power...

He accepts our gifts, hungrily, finding a secret world to escape into over the fake ones in his computer screen. He revels in our gifts, and uses them for his own gains and mischief.

That is until the dragon finds him.

Initiate Chaos Indoctrination.

Swallowed by the Dragon, he adopts their way of thinking. Not having deep thoughts, his mind was vacant for their indoctrination. A new warrior, theif, mage, priest. He is made all these things in one for his order. He relishes this charge as a ubermensch of chaos.

Initiate the Entrance of the Filth.

A hard lesson is learned. One should not accept every gift offered, and our lizard crusader finds himself with a boon he no longer wants. Dark whispers give wrong wisdom at all times, and bloodshot eyes are covered up with sunglasses. Not as good as a domino mask with white eyes, but you make do with what you can get. Black veins pulse in a decidedly villainous manner along his face. Our honey still manages to keep the full effects of the gift at bay, but we will never be able to purge it.

Initiate the present.

Our anti-hero continues to work for the Dragon, spurred on by the belief that if the zero-point pathogen cannot be destroyed, it can at least be contained. It is a fools hope, and one the Dragon makes sure to foster in its best fool.

TRANSMIT - Initiate more recent buzzing - RECEIVE - Wingbeats per minute fluctuations - JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THINGS WERE SAFE - initiate forked road protocol - WITNESS - Agent Woadpiker

Sweetling, our intrepid not-so-self-made man walks an unsure path.

Initiate the Cinderella Story - "Joo tink I got tis scar suckin-?"

Our antihero grows restless, and seeks out knowledge of his disease. While doing so, he makes a bid for power, however small. Gathering recluses like himself into a network. It all falls through, but such things often do for those who do not truly seek to rule. Still, he is put in touch with someone.

Initiate the entrance of the Soldier - "It's all for you!"

In a noisy pub in London, our wannabe hero meets a troubled warrior. Michael sings a funny tune with the knowledge we buzz into his head, and manages to coax the soldier into joining his small network. For a time, they drink, then the soldier disappears. Michael doesn't miss him, until the leads dry up, and he's left without stories to listen too. For a lark, he looks up where his troubled acquaintance disappeared to...

Initiate the Students of Sun Tzu - Battles won or your money back!

Michael follows the strange mercenary to a strange mercenary group. Esoteric murderers for hire, or defenders for employ, depending on which side of the war one belongs to once the Order has been employed. Our hero is put in touch with a Russian, and then their leader. Files are brought up, communications made, and more documentation about Michael is reviewed then he would have ever imagined existed. He wouldn't be surprised if he knew though. The dragon's coils run long and deep.

Initiate The Dark Ops - Agent of Two Agencies

Jobs are done for different employers. Test missions are run with psychotic valley girls turned into living terminators. The Woad Piker makes his way into the same pub, runs into the soldier again, still as disheveled as ever. This time the bees whisper in both their ears, letting them know they both belong to the same agency again. They smile over drinks and broody talk, just like the movies. One of them is earnest in his dark mood, the other just finds it fashionable. You can probably guess who.

=• CIA File •= http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w111/mikeloop86/TopSecret-Woadpiker_zps24ec758f.jpg

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